Joy and Habakkuk

God, I long for and deeply desire the outlook and the effect of the outlook that Habakkuk has. At the end of his book of lament and doubt over God's judgment of his people, he writes in 3:17-19 what are to me some of the most phenomenal when I stand back and compare them to my own life.

As you read it, replace the fig tree and the olive crop and the lack of sheep & cows with things like "supermarkets have no food," "every Starbuck's crop froze," "every the cow has madcow disease," "every chicken has bird flu," "the stock market crashed," "you got fired from your job," "your car was totaled," "you got diagnosed with cancer," etc. Could I still say this...

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

Dr. Piper explains "when all the supports of human life and earthly happiness are taken away, God willb e our delight, our joy. This experience is humanly impossible. No ordinary person can speak in truth like this. If God alone is enough to support joy when all else is lost, it is a miracle of grace" (25). Oh, how I want that miracle!

Sin, War & Exuberance

Becoming a Christian, awakens a person to a war they didn't know was going on before they became a Christian, and one that they find themselves right in the middle of.

To help in this end, I give you this quote by Ed Welch, from pg. 102 of John Piper's When I Don't Desire God to encourage you and give you the attitude you'll need to survive and thrive in this war:

"...there is a mean streak to authentic self-control. ... Self-control is not for the timid. When we want to grow in it, not only do we nurture an exuberance for Jesus Christ, we also demand of ourselves a hatred for sin. ... The only possible attitude towards out-of-control desire is a declaration of all-out war. ... There is something about war that sharpens the senses ... You hear a twig snap or the rustling of leaves and you are in attack mode. Someone coughs and you are ready to pull the trigger. Even after days of little sleep or no sleep, war keeps us vigilant."

I hope that gives you insight into the double-sided attitude needed to fight sin: an overwhelming hatred for sin, and an equally overwhelming exuberance for Christ, which only comes to us through the Spirit's work on our hearts as He glorifies Jesus in the pages of His Word.

Ch 2: Desire vs. Delight

I read this sentence, and it is SO true for me. I see this in me and I think about it all the time, and it makes me just sick of myself. Dr. Piper writes:

"We kick ourselves that our cravings for lesser things compete with God as the satisfaction of our souls. ... We know that we have tasted pleasures at his right hand, and that our desires for them are pitifully small compared to their true worth" (28).

I LONG for the day when this will no longer be true of me, when what I know is truly valuable in my mind (God) will match what is actually valuable (God) in my whole being--my emotions and will seamlessly acting in perfect harmony with my mind.

Until then (which will probably only happen at death), I'm still praying for this grace while being SO thankful that God even awoke a taste in me for Him.

Ch 2: Desire vs. Delight? (Pt 2)

I begin this post with a quote from the top of the chapter's second page:

"Godly people are seen yearning, longing, hungering, thirsting, and fainting for God. They are also seen enjoying, delighting in, and being satisfied in God" (24).

This is totally different than the understanding of godliness as almost totally confined to what a person does. This sentence, which I think is biblical, shows that godliness must extend to our emotions as well. In fact, a person who does not enjoy God is being disobedient and therefore, not godly.

Next, I read these portions of the psalms and seriously wonder if that describes me:

"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God" (42:1-2a).

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you" (63:1-3).

Ask yourself, like I've been asking myself, Do I yearn for, thirst for God? Is my compulsion towards God similar to a dehydrated person compulsion for water? Do I seek for God like men with empty canteens search for water in a desert? Can I honestly say I'd rather have God's love for me than life itself?

My answers to these questions, which reflect the drought my heart is experiencing towards God, and how fake I feel when trying to obey verses like Psalm 37:4 or Philippians 4:4 have become some of the reasons why I'm reading this book.

Chapter 2: Desire vs. Delight?

These words are exactly my frustration in my growth as a Christian:

"We kick ourselves that our cravings for lesser things compete with God as the satisfaction of our souls."

Thankfully, he doesn't stop there saying,

"Rightly so. This is a godly grief. We do well to be convicted and penitent. We know that we have tasted pleasures at his right hand, and that our desires for them are pitifully small compared to their true worth."

That me right now.

Chapter 1: Why I Wrote This Book (Pt 3)

I had to give this quote from C.S. Lewis. Read it carefully and apply it to your desires for and satisfactions in God:

"Provided the thing is in itself right, the more one likes it and the less one has to 'try to be good,' the better. A perfect man would never act from sense of duty; he'd always want the right thing more than the wrong one. Duty is only a substitute for love (of God and of other people), like a crutch, which is a substitute for a leg. Most of us need the crutch at times; but of course it's idiotic to use the crutch when our own legs (our own loves, tastes, habits, etc.) can do the journey on their own!" (C.S. Lewis: Letters to Children, 276).

I am reading this book because I want "a joy in Christ that is so deep and so strong that it will free me from bondage to Western comforts and security, and will impel me into sacrifices of mercy and missions, and will sustain me in the face of martyrdom. ... The key to endurance in the cause of self-sacrificing love is not heroic willpower, but deep, unshakable confidence that the joy we have tasted in fellowship with Christ will not disappoint us in death" like the Christians in Hebrews 10:34 (20, 21).

My heart screams "Yes!" when I read this, yet my experience feels like it mirrors the blind man who tries to ride a dead horse that he doesn't know is dead. He commands it, and kicks it, and yells, yet it goes no where. That is often how my heart feels inside me, and I want that so desperately to change.

I want to "truly experience...the unsurpassed worth of Jesus with so much joy that [I] can say, 'I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord' (Phil 3:8)" (21).

This is the only kind of experience that is worthy of the Savior!

Chapter 1: Why I Wrote This Book (Pt 2)

Dr. Piper wrote this book to answer the questions "How do you get a desire [for God that] you don't have and can't create?" or "How to you turn the spark into a flame?" (15). And, I'm not going to lie, that's why I wanted to read this book.

I am not interested in superficial, wishy-washy, half-in half-out, luke warm devotion to God. I'm just not and when I think and feel and live that way I hate myself. I really want God to use this book as a catalyst to begin something deep and lasting and real in my soul.

I want so badly to be the person Jonathan Edwards describes who sets no limit on his religious appetites and endeavors "by all possible ways to inflame their desires and to obtain more spiritual pleasures" because one's hungering for the Trinity and holiness "can't be too great for the value of these things, for they are things of infinite value" (17). When it comes to desiring God, balance, or as Edwards puts it "temperance," is not a virtue.

Chapter 1: Why I Wrote This Book (Pt 1)

Honestly, we're reading this book because we don't desire God like we should, and we don't feel good about it.

We're convinced God is the object most to be desired because He is infinitely desirable, but in my most honest moments, I don't think about Him that way, I don't feel about Him that way and I don't act that way towards Him. I join my name to the list of those who do not desire "God with the passion he demands" (13).

This gets worse because God the Most Desirable does not leave the finding of joy in Him as an option I can take or leave. "Rejoice in the Lord always" is a command!

But between me and my full satisfaction in God stands my indwelling sin "by making other things look more desirable" and "by making me think I am pursuing joy in God, when, in fact, I am in love with his gifts" (14).

As a result, I agree with Piper that in light of this almost insurmountable struggle a "manageable, duty-driven, decision-oriented, willpower Christianity now seem[s] easy, and real Christianity ha[s] become impossible" (14).

Sadly, if I'm honest with myself I want knowledge and status and comfort and security more than God. And, I not only feel like I don't have a desire for God, but I feel like I don't have the power to give it to myself.

This is a very real reality for me. One I recognize and struggle with, and desperately want changed. That's why I'm looking so forward to reading this book. Piper says he wrote it "to be of help to believers and unbelievers who are seeing some of the radical heart-changes demanded by the Bible in the Christian life--especially that we must desire God more than anything" (15).

Thankfully, this struggle is "almost insurmountable," and it's almost because we serve a God for whom "all things are possible" (Mark 10:27). In this reality is my only hope. Heart transformation is God's sovereign, gracious work, and one that I remember saying "Pray all night if you don't have it."

John Piper's When I Don't Desire God

The next book we're going to read through as well as blog through is John Piper's When I Don't Desire God.

My friend's wife agrees with John Piper himself that if you're going to read one book this is the one to read (Piper said this in this interview).

We decided to do it because a lot of our conversations while reading through Lundgaard's The Enemy Within revolved around why our Christian lives are so difficult and dull and just plain blah compared to when we were first saved. We concluded that God gives a special grace to new believers, and that it's lost overtime for various reasons and needs to be sought after and regained.

I'm sure we're both praying that God will use this book to confront and convict us of our sins as well as reinvigorate our spiritual lives.