Home From Zhytomyr!!!

I've been home from Ukraine for almost two weeks now, but there has been a couple very good reasons why I have not posted anything here. I was severely jet-lagged for over a week, and I got sick there on the last night and brought it back with me. My cough still hasn't healed!

However, the real reason I have not posted anything here is to see if what took place there would wear off. I had an absolutely incredible time in Zhytomyr, Ukraine.

I landed on Saturday July 21st, and preached two sermons the next day totally jet-lagged. Then, for the leadership camp the first week I preached on Monday night, three times on Tuesday, three times on Wednesday, four times on Thursday, and three times on Friday. By Friday night I was totally exhausted, but at the same time thrilled at what God had done and was doing--and had a very funny night trying to speak Russian.

I had Saturday off, and on the second Sunday I preached two sermons again. Then, I preached once a day for the next five days at the evangelistic camp. God blessed that week incredibly as many were challenged and He even saved some 15-20 kids through the preaching of His Word day after day.

I absolutely loved the people of Christmas Church in Zhytomyr (pic of church above). I was treated like a family member. My main interpreter and I hit it off instantly. Everyone was completely encouraging and responsive (for the most part) to my feeble attempts to serve them. They wanted me to play every game, and do every activity. Many tried to talk with me even though it was hard for them (most if not all school kids have to learn English), and impossible for me. One brother made sure I was fully involved in almost everything they did at both camps. There were even two very dear friends that tried to teach me Russian, which really made me feel like I was one of their own (even though I had NO CLUE what they were saying 99.99% of the time). It was so nice to be around Christians that were so hospitable and kind and selfless.

Couple all that with the vast amount of talent and the many needs I saw within the church itself and I just fell in love with everything and everyone. At the end of the second week, I simply did not want to leave. I secretly hoped we'd get in a car accident or miss our flight so that we could stay just one more day. I don't think I've ever been used by God the way I was during those two weeks, and I don't think my heart has ever been so knit to another group of believers like it was to those in Zhytomyr.

Like I said, I haven't written about the trip sooner because I wanted to see if all this would wear off, but it hasn't. I was asked by many if I would come back next summer, and I don't know what the future holds, but I hope and pray that God will use me there again and for many summers to come. I can't thank Him enough for all He did there, I can't thank my friends Vitali and Michael for inviting me and making everything happen so smoothly, and I can't thank the people of Zhytomyr enough for the tremendous blessing they were, and still are, to me.

Finally, many of you prayed for the whole trip, and I hope this post conveys, even a little bit, what it was you prayed for. I am convinced that God used you personally to do what took place there, and for that I can't thank you enough. God used you mightily to do things you'll never know about this side of glory.

For those who are interested, I posted about 150 pictures of the trip here.

Goin' To Zhytomyr!!!

I haven't blogged much recently, and it looks like I will be continuing that trend for the next couple weeks as I am leaving LAX in a few hours for two weeks in Zhytomyr, Ukraine (check out where it is on Google Maps). I arrive Saturday morning and will be there until August 4th. Hopefully, I'll get to use a computer while I'm there, but who knows?

I will be speaking 24 times over the next 8 days (twice on both Sunday's, 4 times a day during the week with Saturday off) on what a church is supposed to be and do, and what church leaders are supposed to be and do...and that's just week one!

All of this is meant to equip the leaders in a local church who are putting on an evangelistic youth crusade the following week. I will be sharing the speaking duties with a friend from seminary so maybe I'll only speak once a day.

Please, please please pray for this church's leaders, me, the youth and that Christ would be exalted as the only sovereign Head of His church.

Royal Family Kids' Camp

Please pray for me this week. I will not be blogging because I will be up at the Pinecrest Christian Conference Center for Royal Family Kids' Camp.

I love this James 1:27-type ministry. This is my 12th year serving two boys ages 7-11 from the Orange County Child Protective Services.

Please search the site above and give to this ministry, or even look for a church in your area where you can serve abused and neglected children with the love of Christ.

My Summer Ministry Trip to Ukraine

I deeply covet your prayers. I just spoke to my friend who invited me to come teach and preach this summer in Ukraine. I will be leaving July 19th and returning August 4th.

In the first week, I will be teaching 3 hours a day (two morning and one evening session) and fielding questions on the subjects the church and leadership. He told me to assume the people have no knowledge about what the church is supposed to be and do, and what leaders in the church are supposed to be and do.

During the second week, my friend and I will be sharing the teaching load at an evangelistic sports camp where dozens of kids come and hear the gospel. I will be sharing 10 sessions with him as we cover the Bible, God, Man, Christ and the Gospel.

I will also be preaching at a church both Sunday's that I'm there. Wow!!! Just in case you're not counting, that's almost 30 messages in two weeks. Thank God for His grace in giving me the chance to do this!

This is a unique opportunity to influence a Ukrainian church at foundational and formational levels. So, aside from your prayers--which again I covet deeply because I feel so scared and inadequate for this--any book and sermon recommendations will be very helpful as I continue to prepare prayerfully and educationally.

Grandpa: One Month Later

It's been one month and a day since my Grandpa Hoover died. It hurts to even write that sentence, let alone live in the same house where he did for the past 14 years. My heart is still broken, and will be for some time.

Almost all day and when I try to sleep, all I can think about is that morning one month ago when I turned to corner of the assisted living place to see him lifeless on the hallway floor with the EMT's working on him. I walk around sad all day because I can't get that image out of my mind. His last words to me keep ringing in my hears. He woke up briefly while I was praying silently for him the night before and he patted my hands with one of his, smiled, and said "You're still here." I hurt so deeply that I wasn't there when he awoke again, and that he died without any family there.

I remember him saying "Life will go on without me," and I know it will, but its not the same. There is a huge hole in my life without him. I am so glad that God rescued from his sin on December 1, 2006 and that He brought him safely home when he died (2 Tim 4:18), but I miss him so badly it hurts, still.

I wanted to post what I wrote last month in my journal about what I learned through this experience. This is what I wrote.

#1. It’s not normal to live in pain. My grandpa, his brother, and two sisters died of stomach cancer so I have to get checked for that regularly because it’s in my family. His doctor treated him for 3 years for indigestion and an ulcer without any x-ray--I’m trying hard to view that doctor’s incompetence through the lens of God’s sovereignty, that him dying of cancer as a result of miss diagnosis for 4 years, was what God wanted, but it’s not helping much. I learned to ask two very important questions of any doctor from now on. First, What's the worst thing this could be? Second, Can you prove to me it's not that?

#2 You don't choose when you die. One of the most difficult things for me is knowing that last thing my grandpa wanted was to die. We talked just a couple days earlier about athletes training for some medal or trophy that really means little, but when he works hard he does it, and then he finished my sentence, "so I can live." One of the saddest moments in all of this was when he said [My brother and sisters] smoked and drank. I didn’t. I watched what I ate. I took vitamins. I thought I had them beat.” This has made God quite scary to me, a God who sovereignly keeps doctors from diagnosing cancer early so that He can take a man far earlier than any expected.

#3. Love your family deeply while you can and it will pay off in the end. So many people had no one visiting them at Hoag and Flagship and he had someone there from around 9am to 10pm everyday with very little time alone. Also, I hope I have a grandson who does the things for me that I did for him. I did those things because I loved him so much and I loved him so much because of the love he’d shown me for 29 years. Connie’s (his girlfriend) told me a couple times that he told her how much he loved me and how grateful he was for me, and I’m so glad he knew how much I loved him.

#4. Have medical and life insurance and take care of your funeral arrangements before you die like he had and did. It’s made life so much easier on my mom and uncles.

#5. Leave explanations for things you keep or people won’t know why they’re important. I saw this when going through old photos on Kauai after his brother died. The family lost a huge connection to the past when he died and consequently we were looking at old pictures of people no body knows.

#6. Let people know you’re sick. I let everyone know at the church plant and on my blog and I know others let people know. He was thoroughly prayed for, and it brought him great joy.

#7. In the end, all you’ve got are family and family friends, whether you like them or not, so keep them close no matter what you or they do. Aside from my grandpa’s love for grandma and me, I think the thing I admire most about him was that everyone loved him and that he had many, many friends. I want that to be true of me, but I’m so introverted that I don’t know if it ever will be.

#8. You really see what people are made of and what kind of friends they really are when death hits your family. We've seen such an outpouring of love from so many people that it's been overwhelming.

I hope that helps. Though I've been crying while posting this I know it was helpful for me to do.

Final Grandpa Update

I am still quite sad today while trying to trust in God's sovereignty and love, while trying to believe that "behind a frowning providence there hides a smiling face" (Bunyan).

I was comforted by a friend from seminary who wrote in an email that he grieved with me and that Joseph, who trusted in the sovereign goodness of God like few others (cf. Gen 50:21), cried six times during his ordeal. That's about how many times I've cried today as I've tried to journal about the past 10 days and the past 29 years with my grandpa, Herbert Hoover Cox.

There is no more need to give updates on my grandpa so this is the final one. He's doing far better now that he's in heaven, having become so on December 1, 2006, and no longer in need of our prayers. Again, I can't thank all of you enough for your prayers and support. Every time I told him about you he'd close his eyes, smile, and say "Tell them I said Thank you." It meant so much to him. Thank you.

The only thing left to say is that his memorial is at 2:30pm this coming Sunday, March 4th, at Pacific View Memorial Park in Corona del Mar. Please pray for me as this is my first funeral, and for the many unbelievers who will be in attendance.

Grandpa Update

He died. He wanted me to thank you for all your love and prayers.

He's no longer sick and more alive now than he's ever been.

Grandpa Update

I haven't blogged much this week because I've been at the hospital most of the time. The pneumonia never got too bad because it was caught so early (thank God!). All his vitals are stable (except his body temperature is low, between 95 and 97) and his all-there mentally.

Aside from his general condition, which is weak, and his general mental state being pretty depressed I think he's doing well--much better than when he entered.

I just received word that he went for his longest walk of the past couple weeks, which tells me he's not giving up. I've heard that if you give cancer an inch, it will take a mile, if you let up on it for one second it will kill you.

Aside from his surgery on Dec. 1, the last time my grandpa was in the hospital was the day the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. He's lived a very healthy life so all of this is really new and uncomfortable and discouraging to him. That's why aside from praying and reading the Bible with him every night I'm also trying to encourage him to keep the fight going.

Because he's doing so well and no longer needs the antibiotics for the pneumonia, it looks like he's being moved today to an assisted living facility where they're going to work on rehabilitating him to come home and to be able to withstand the chemo.

Please pray that his health stays good, that his strength increases considerably and that he sees good things happening so that he'll be encouraged. Many can see God's fingerprints on the whole situation. Not only has God helped him while in the hospital this week, but He's helped us learn what to do for him when he gets home.

I truly thank God for all He's done this week and look forward to what He's going to do in the future.

Grandpa Update

Today was the kind of day that reminded me of something I heard John Bunyan say by way of John Piper's biography about him (read or listen here, I think it's one of Piper's best): "Behind a frowning providence there hides a smiling face."

I hold my grandpa upright, helping him get into his wheelchair, when he passed out. My mom and I sat him in the chair so that we could wheel him to his bed, but he slumped down and was near falling off completely. I stopped my mom from pulling the chair any further, lifted him off the chair and set him on the floor while telling her to call 911.

When he went limp in my arms I thought he died. He was not responding to anything I was saying. Not even his eyes moved. When I got him on the floor, I was trying to assess whether or not he needed CPR while praying fervently. It was clear that he was breathing, but I could not find a pulse either on his neck (I was looking in the wrong spot) or his wrist.

Thankfully, I heard the ambulance coming so I knew they'd take over. After talking to my grandpa about all this later he told me he doesn't remember how he got on the floor or even that he was on the floor. He was not responding much at all so I'm not surprised. However, once the paramedics showed up he was talking to them, which was quite a relief.

The reason I quote Bunyan above is because when we got to the ER we learned after a few tests that he had what the doctor called "a touch of pneumonia," something we never would've noticed until it was farther along. If he had not passed out today we would not have known at all.

On top of that, the ER was packed all day and all night, that is, except for the time he got there. It was practically empty. I shudder to think what it would've been like if he would've passed out a couple hours later.

So, what started out as a tragedy ended up being a wonderful blessing in disguise as it seemed that God orchestrated the whole thing to keep my grandpa safe and alive. He is now at Hoag Hospital resting soundly, unaware of all the physical and respiratory torture, I mean therapy, that awaits him in a few hours.

I thank God for all the events today, and I thank all of you for all your prayers. He was supposed to start round 2 of chemotherapy tomorrow so please pray that he'll get better from the pneumonia, and that he'll get his strength up to start chemo soon. Also, please pray for his girlfriend's mental state (she's a Mormon who recently buried one brother from cancer, has had cancer herself, and just found out today that her oldest brother is very sick) as well as wisdom for my mom and her two brothers as they are making many of his medical decisions.

Any advice on anything is greatly appreciated. I'll keep this updated as I can. Thank you for everything.

My Life Verse

Today was the day I read the most convicting passage in the Bible for me, which just so happens to double as the qualification standard any pastor-teacher-elder-overseer must have. If a man does not meet this, he may have the desire, but he's not qualified and has no business in pastoral ministry.

1 Timothy 3:2-7

"...an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil."

Because I try to read two chapters of the NT each day (along with 3 OT and 1 Psalm or 1 Proverb chapter), I also read what became my life verses a few years ago.

1 Timothy 4:12-16

"Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. Until I come, give attention to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation and teaching. Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you, which was bestowed on you through prophetic utterance with the laying on of hands by the presbytery. Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that your progress will be evident to all. Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you."

Grandpa Update

My grandpa's strength is deteriorating. He's tired all day. His stamina has gone way down, and his legs get very shakey when he walks. He eats, but not as much as we'd like.

We think the weakness is due to low blood sugar so we've taken him off his blood sugar medicine, but it seems that once we figure one problem out another arises. I know he's getting frustrated.

Our times in the Bible and prayer each night are very sweet, and he wanted me to tell all of you praying for him how grateful he is that people who don't know him and have never met him are thinking and praying for him.

He tells me every night how much he looks forward to our time together before he goes to bed where we read a portion of Mark's gospel and pray.

So, while is body is getting worse, at least for now, his spirit is being strengthened by God's amazing grace. Thank you.

Grandpa Update

My grandpa Hoover just got back from the doctor where we found out one bad news and two good newses.

The bad news is that when he fell last week and landed on his bedside table, he broke a rib. There's no treatment for that. It simply heals on its own.

The good news is that he gained one pound and his liver function is improving.

Grandpa Update

My grandpa, who's name by the way is Hoover Cox, fell last night. At around 3am he stood up after retrieving something that fell from his dresser when he got dizzy and tipped backwards, hitting the middle of his back on a small table and landing on his bed.

Today, he has a swollen lump with a bruise and cut where his back hit the table, and I'm sure he's getting more and more depressed about his condition. Again, any advice would be very helpful, as well as your prayers. Thank you.

Grandpa Update

I talked to my grandpa last night, and told him about all of you praying for him. He wanted me to let you know how grateful he is for all of you and and how kind you are to pray for someone you don't know.

Also, he's been suffering every night for months from restless leg syndrome where his legs, especially his left, have a dull, achy pain all night that keeps him from sleeping. Many nights he's up past 3, 4 or 5am!

Well, God was particularly gracious toward him last night. After talking with him and encouraging him to keep fighting he asked if I'd place my hand on his leg and pray for it, so I did. He just told me that his leg didn't hurt at all last night and that he slept just fine.

Praise God, and thank you all for your prayers!!!

Grandpa Update

My mom told me today that my grandpa told his girlfriend that he feels like giving up.

By the time I got home, he was already in bed so I could not talk with him.

So, please pray for his physical, mental and spiritual well-being and that I'll have wisdom in what to say and how to say it.

I love my grandpa very very much, and want to do all I can to encourage him not to give in, but to continue fight against cancer. Thank you.

Grandpa Update

UPDATE: After 7 hours, he's out of the doctors and back home.

So far, he's taken the chemotherapy very well. He slept a lot during the process, ate some lunch and was laughing a little bit after it ended.

He's feeling fine, has a good amount of energy and is eating some more right now.

Thank you for your prayers. He has a pump attached to his pick line that is giving him a steady flow of chemotherapy medicine for the next 4 days.

He'll return to the doctor for a check up next Tuesday.

Praise the Lord for His goodness throughout this whole ordeal!

*******

If you think of it later this morning, please say a prayer for my grandpa between the hours of 8-11am PST.

He's starting his first round of chemotherapy for the stomach cancer that has spread to his liver and possibly his pancreas. He, and we, need all the prayer and advice and support we can get.

Thank you.

Grandpa Update

Thank you all for your prayers on my grandpa's behalf. He gained 2 lbs. since last week (Hooray!!!), had a good report from the doctor about his blood work and is doing better than the doctor expected.

Thursday is the big day when he, or really we start chemotherapy. His appointment is at 8am (Pacific Standard Time) and should last around 2 hours. This is when he gets his big dose, followed by four smaller doses at home this week.

Thank you for your prayers. His energy is up. He's eating, walking around and for the past two days he's been sitting outside for an hour or so in the sun.

God has been so kind in saving my grandpa, seeing him through his surgery, strengthening his body and deepening his resolve.

Please continue to pray for his health, both physical and spiritual, and for us, especially my mom, as we help him through some very difficult days ahead. Any advice you might give would be a huge blessing and greatly appreciated.

Grandpa Update

We went to the doctor yesterday, and what an adventure in God's gracious providence it was.

We changed my grandpa's primary care because the doctor is 30 minutes away from us, and also because the doctor treated him for an ulcer for 2 to 3 years with no internal exams until October when he started loosing weight. Since September 2006, my grandpa has gone from 205 lbs to 165 on December 13th to 148 yesterday!

When his new primary care doctor heard this, he was outraged and worried. He immediately tried to get him in to see the oncologist next door, and he succeeded! Sadly, this oncologist didn't take my grandpa's insurance, but while we were waiting I found a magazine about how to care for someone with cancer called Caring4Cancer. This has a lot of good ideas we can use for his diet, a particularly difficult area with him right now.

We went from disappointment to happiness when his new primary told him he got him into see another oncologist two buildings over. When my mom got over to see him, she started to breakdown when they told her his appointment would be next week. The oncologist kindly saw my grandpa.

It turns out that this doctor, Robert A. Moss, M.D., was rated one of America's Top Physicians (as the magazine plaque said on the wall). He told my grandpa of the treatment options and gave him some perscrptions for his digestion and appetite, both of which aren't working well. My grandpa agreed to the chemotherapy, which may start late next week.

The amazing thing about all this: He wasn't taking anymore patients after noon because of the holiday. He told my mom later that this is the only day of the year his office is empty after noon. We just happened to walk into an empty office of one of America's Top Oncologists.

God, in His smiling and gracious providence, worked wonders yesterday. This is so encouraging. Please continue to pray for him, for us, for the medicines and for the doctors. My grandpa is taking medicines and pills and drinking teas to slow the cancer's spread. However, he is quite weak. He's not eating much because eating makes him feel nauseous. He is sweating a lot because the cancer has spread from his stomach to his liver. These are not good signs. My mom is worried because it seems he's not doing what he needs to do, as if he's giving in to the cancer. When I prayed with him tonight I asked him what he wanted me to pray for, and he said that he would pull out of this.

Grandpa Update

It's been awhile since I've blogged about my grandpa's fight against stomach cancer.

He's been gaining strength very slowly as he's spent much of his time recently watching football (his favorite). He's lost another 10 lbs. so that he's gone from 205 to 160 in 4 months. Now, he cannot eat much because his stomach is so small (25% of its original size), but even if he could eat, nothing tastes good. This is quite strange because ever since I was a child I marveled at never seeing him come across a food he didn't like.

With no stomach and all foods tasting bad, he just looses more and more weight, which keeps him from getting strength to fight. He is drinking a lot of tea (especially Essiac) and taking his vitamins regularly, which may explain why he sweats so much, but it does not explain his frequent back aches.

We're going to the doctor tomorrow, Tuesday, to find out what the next steps are for him and what we can do about his diet. He changed doctors after the debacle of the last two months, so now he'll be going to Hoag, which we hope will be a better situation for him.Any explanation and/or advice on any of these ailments would be greatly appreciated.

Finally, we're praying almost every night before he goes to bed--something I've only dreamed of for the past 10 years. My grandpa was a cop and court clerk for many years, so when he confessed some sins on Christmas Day, I told him "That's what Christmas is all about. Because of what Jesus did on the cross, He gets all your sin and is punished--getting what you deserve. When you trusted Jesus' work on your behalf, you get all His perfection and get what He deserves--heaven. When your case comes up, God the judge says 'Thrown out for lack of evidence,'" to which he smiled really big.

So, please keep praying for his physical and spiritual health in the new year. Thank you.

Sovereign Grace Orange County

Please click here to read about an exciting new church starting in Orange County, California.

In the face of the shallow gospel and shallow churches that sadly mark Southern California Christianity, this will--by God's grace--be a truly counter-cultural expression of God-glorifying, gospel-driven ministry the produces an authentic, Jesus-worshiping community that moves from there to reach the lost.

I am so excited about this. Please pray for us as we move forward. Thank you.