Chapter 3, The Enemy Within

"Sin can be like trick birthday candles: you blow them out and smile, thinking you have your wish; then your jaw drops as they burst into flames" (39).

I'm trying to learn that this side of heaven, I will never have any one sin beat because I will never have sin beat. I can weaken sin, but never kill it.

However, is this too fatalistic? Am I giving in, when it's time to fight, or is it a fight I can gain ground on, win a few battle, but never gain total victory?

You have to fight sin because there is such a strong drive to please God. You can't not fight because if you're a Christian you're driven to fight, but the lack of hope that's bred by knowing you're not going to win in this life, I guess, is meant to make heaven that much sweeter.

Paul was right. For so many reasons, one being no more sin, to die is gain (Phil 1:21).

However, I think part of my problem is that I've never really fought sin, and don't know how to if I wanted to. I am like those who received the book of Hebrews who in their struggle against sin, "have not yet resisted to the point of shedding [their] blood" (Heb 12:4).

Yep, never done that before, but what would it look like if I did? Not sinning means I get beat up? I don't know.

One thing I do know, I am not "careful" (Matt 16:6) when it comes to sin. I am not on my guard (Matt 16:6, Luke 12:15, 1 Cor 16:13, 2 Pet 3:17) against sin. I do not watch (Matt 26:41, Luke 12:15). I do not pray (Matt 26:41). I am not constantly on guard (Luke 12:15), standing firm (1 Cor 16:13), being strong (1 Cor 16:13).

That sounds like active, preemptive resistance, not a passive resistance until sin shows up. I need to learn this, so I've added an examination question to my journal. When I apply the passage I'm reading and meditating on to myself, I will now ask "What sins are you being tempted with? Be specific."

I hope this will help me preempt sin in myself.

Chapter 3 of The Enemy Within ends with this prayer "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Ps 139:23-24).

In all honesty, I'm afraid to pray this prayer because I'm afraid what God will reveal about me to myself. However, I need some courage. I need to suck it up and deal with what He shows me, and do what I need to do to address the sin in my heart.