Chapter 3, The Enemy Within

I'm back for more in chapter 3.

If what Lundgaard writes is true, that "we can't even know our own [hearts]" (36), than what hope do I have in winning the war against sin?

First, I have the Bible which is "able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Heb 4:12). If that is of no comfort to you, like it is no comfort to me at times, it is because you don't know it well enough to use the Bible on yourself.

Second, I have friends who are supposed to be calling me out when my heart is demonstrating itself in actions that dishonor God, and bring shame upon the witness of Christ through me. I'm praying for more friends like this.

To move on, I am the one who knows "secret communion with God is a feast for [my] soul, and [I] long for it--but [I] can't roll our of bed [one of my teachers in seminary called it 'Mind over Mattress'], or if [I] do, [my] mind zooms everywhere in the universe except to heaven" (37).

I hate this, and I don't know what to do about it except to push through it. I've taken to blogging to help me, and I've returned to journaling after a few years off in order to do that same. However, if I'm not disciplined it won't happen. And, I tend to shun discipline unless I have someone holding me accountable. That's what I need. More accountability.